Pecker - the unemployed young stud who managed to send her to the ER who has no car, no drivers license, a record of some sort and who accompanied Scarlett to a Christmas evening with her (dysfunctional) family.
Virginia - Scarlett's daughter who married and moved far away, popped two children who Scarlett claims to adore more than life itself. Virginia has at various times exhibited a tendency towards substance abuse.
Mr. Virginia - Scarlett's son-in-law, father of the grandkids who may or may not have a substance abuse problem.
Scarlett's attorney - Let's call him Barry, as in the English Barrister. My heart truly goes out to this poor fool because I know just what type of a client he has.
Money, Alcohol, Christianity, Separate Property, Living Arrangements, Cross Country Moves, Mother-Daughter Relationships, Girlfriend-Boyfriend Relationships and Feelings of Entitlement pretty much cover the subjects.
Disclaimer: The author of this blog assumes no responsibility for headaches, blurred vision, psychotic breaks, loss of hair, tremors, uncontrollable fits of screaming/laughter or any other medical, emotional or psychological side effects caused or induced by the reading of the following. Elderly individuals may wish to consult with their physician first. Please keep small children in your lap at all times. Management strongly discourages the consumption of alcohol during this ride. Proceed at your own risk.
Cognitive Dissonance #1: Scarlett has had an on again/off again theory that my father is the one pulling the strings in this divorce action. That she herself started... In her mind I am but a mere puppet simply responding to the hidden tugs, twitches, pulls and drops of my puppet master. Poppycock, balderdash and falderal are all words that spring to mind whenever this particular charge is levied. Undeterred, Scarlett has expanded this theory to now include the "fact" that her attorney has been co-opted by my father, through a hidden payoff, and is therefore secretly working for him and not her. However, side-by-side with this theory is a new game plan, that may or may not come to fruition, that involves the deposing of my parents to ask them questions concerning separate property. Scarlett knows that there are separate property issues involved here yet refuses to acknowledge them. So, between her and her attorney (who is secretly in my dad's employ) they have come up with this idea of a deposition. Left unanswered I suppose is why her attorney, who is doing my father's bidding would agree to depose his own hidden client.
Cognitive Dissonance #2: Scarlett has an alcohol problem. Not herself but with others. Or at least some others. Most of the time. At least when she doesn't. Or it's not in her best interests. But, let me explain. According to Scarlett, Salty at one point had a drinking issue. Now, Salty quite frankly denies this but in any event, for various reasons decided over 21 years ago to just walk away from it. No muss, no fuss. Since that time however, on at least 6 different occasions, Scarlett made it quite clear that should Salty ever have so much as another adult fermented beverage she would leave him. Oh how tempting that was at times! Then along comes a Pecker.
There are some subtle differences between Salty and Pecker. In no particular order they are as follows:
Salty has a car, driver's license, a job, a future and a fully paid for house.
Pecker has....a backpack, a police record (due to alcohol), a student ID, no car, no driver's license (due to alcohol), no job (due to alcohol) and seemingly not much of a future (due to alcohol). And he lives in an apartment with 3 other guys. At ~ 47 years old....due to alcohol.
See what I mean? Very subtle differences. You can hardly pick them up.
Anyway, it's not really any secret that during the rendezvous between Scarlett and Pecker, things have been greased with the aid of adult beverages. To excess. In any event, Scarlett has also "broken up" twice with Pecker. But now wants him back. Why? Salty doesn't care, in fact Salty wishes her all the best. But what Salty can't wrap his head around is Scarlett's demand that Salty never touch another drop but she is perfectly fine with someone who's entire life has been drop kicked into the toilet because of it. Is it because Scarlett feels as though she's top dog in that relationship? That she can call the shots? Don't know and really don't care. But it is a puzzle and Salty likes to solve puzzles. Though admittedly there are some puzzles you should just put back on the shelf and never bother with again.
Cognitive Dissonance #3: Another one related to alcohol. Mr. and Mrs. Virginia, the parents of Scarlett's grand kids, have both been known to drink to excess at times. And that is putting things mildly. Mr. Virginia serves our country in a branch of the service and was informed late last year that he would be deployed soon for a one year stint. Mrs. Virginia, I am told, impressed upon Scarlett how nice it would be if Scarlett moved back there during this time to help with the kids. And Scarlett was ecstatic. So that was the plan. Now, as the service is known to do, they have changed their collective minds on Mr. Virginia's deployment. Scarlett discovered this news on a phone call with Mrs. Virginia who was three sheets to the wind at the time. Prior to this, Mr. Virginia had gotten sauced one evening then for reasons unknown decided it would be a grand idea to try and take his own life. Scarlett was aware of this as well. So all of this now adds up to Scarlett not wanting to make this move. Why? Well, certainly the change in deployment was a factor but, funny thing, that reason was not mentioned by Scarlett. Her reason? She didn't want to deal with the "drama" of Mr and Mrs. Virginia's drinking..... wait, what?
Scarlett is ok with Pecker's drinking but she's not okay with drinking that is going on in the presence of her grandkids. Drinking that leads to someone thinking it a good idea to commit suicide. Another puzzle here for Salty. Wouldn't it be better for Scarlett's grandkids to have her there to act as some sort of refuge against mom and dad when they each go off on a toot? And wouldn't she be better off to walk away from someone whose life has been tossed into the gutter because of drinking?
Well, Salty certainly seems to believe so, but then his opinion has not been asked for. Nor, likely will it. Ever. Which is fine.
So, how does all this end? Who knows. The only thing Salty knows for sure is that he is damn glad he's on his way out of this nuthouse.
So so good! How do you think of this stuff????
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