1+1 = 5

Irving.

The  little man either reviewed his notes prior to my seeing him yesterday or, he's trying to lead me down a garden path.  Or, I'm just reading far too much into things and seeing/hearing what I want to see and hear.

Scarlett had a one-on-one with him yesterday prior to our dual meeting.  I have no idea what was or was not discussed and likely never will.  But that aside, I feel as though maybe, just maybe, some of what I've said in the past is starting to sink in.  He is of the opinion that marriage is not designed to bring you happiness.  Yeah, been there, done that, got a t-shirt as well as some non-visible scars.  But that happiness is a by product of the growth and maturity that you can only achieve in the married state.  By and large I'd have to agree with that, at least from the male perspective.  Though speaking only for myself, I've met a number of married men who don't seem to have grown or matured at all.  So maybe it's hit and miss?

Anyway, the reason he was trying to drive home this point was in relation to something I'd said.  Specifically (hat tip to the Shah) I wondered out loud if perhaps the most loving thing I could do for Scarlett would be to end what she started (another potential argument in the making) and allow her to find someone far more compatible.  So Irving says what he says and when he was done I corrected him just a wee bit by adding in that in order for that to work you needed to first be married to the right person.  Score one for Salty because he had to nod his head in agreement with that.

And that was pretty much how yesterday's session went.  I was laying the groundwork, planting seeds whatever, to get Scarlett thinking in a new direction.  She's not there yet and in fact I've been dealing with a reaction I didn't quite expect so far.

Rather than blow up at me later in the day, or start weeping, she has seemingly doubled down on the hoovering and love bombing, albeit without as much "pressure" as in the recent past.  This too I know shall pass.  In the meantime I am attempting to be as casual, forthright and honest as I can.  No provocation, no ultimatums will she receive from me.  Do unto others as you would have them do unto you I believe is good advice even when the other party doesn't quite get it.

In the meantime, the Shah gave me some homework this past week.  In as much detail as possible, write down how I see the next five years playing out under two very different scenarios.  One, with Scarlett, the other without.