Monday Night Fogball

So there I was minding my own business trying to do some reading and hanging out with my furry friend when Scarlett saunters into the room and queries me as to whether I was there to spend time with her.  You know, after a while you just get used to her being the first thing on her mind....

And then the "talk" began. As usual it didn't take long for it to spiral out of control.  Let's see, according to Scarlett I am:

A weasel
A son of a bitch
A bastard
An asshole
A cruel, heartless bastard
An idiot
A fool
And maybe I'm gay but now she's not so sure

She brought up our local county fair and I informed her, again, that I would not be attending this year.  Can not afford it thanks entirely to her excessive spending of the past year plus.  But hey, at least she had fun and enjoyed herself spending money she never earned.  Maybe it's just me but I do not take any comfort in that....Anyway that then led her to tell me I'm tight, cheap, greedy, selfish...all things I've heard before ad nauseum.  What Scarlett can't seem to figure out is that it was precisely those qualities, though I would use very different words, that allowed the money she spent so freely and stupidly to be there in the first place.  Dot connecting is not one of her strong suits.

I was informed she was not going to put up with "this" for the next 20-30 years and she wanted the man she married back.  I offered to go to the store and pick up a 12 pack  of beer, down about 8 of them and then she would have "that man" back.  Apparently, even though that is what she said she wanted, it's not what she wanted.

She brought up Goose and Ganders and tried in vain to somehow nail me with that until I pointed out that what she was talking about she had actually done not only first but also second, so if anyone was the goose here, it would be her and I take the role of the gander (does that make me gay?).  Oh she hates it when her attempts to shame me backfire on her.  As they say, karma is a bitch.

More talk, from her, about the need to leave the past in the past and "move forward".  Uh, no.  I'm not letting Scarlett off that easy.  If the roles were reversed, I would certainly want the past to be forgotten and never discussed again, but that will not be happening on my watch.  She once again came within inches of telling me to leave, though she also mentioned she might just gather up some of her stuff and leave.  If that was meant to frighten me it failed miserably.