Regrets, I've had a few

So I've spent the past couple of days doing some favors for Scarlett.  Started with her calling me because she had a migraine and needed a ride to her chiropractor who has been able to relieve some of this in the past.  Fine.  Not a problem.  Get her back to the house after that and I'm asked if I can feed Salty Dog.  Sure enough.  Anything else?  Okay then, I'm going back to the campsite.

Later on that evening she calls.  Not feeling well.  All alone.  Salty Dog is bugging her.  No one there to take care of her.  You've got to be kidding me.  She's made such a fuss over the past year about almost being 60 and now she's behaving like a child because there's no one to take care of her.

For one of the few times in our relationship I told her that she'll just have to take care of herself.  But I don't want to.  Really?  Did I just hear what I thought I heard?  I said that Salty Dog would be fine and so would she.  Once she figured out that I wasn't coming over she ended the call.

Following day another phone call.  Not feeling well.  Can you go get such and such for me?  Yep.  Not a problem.  But for that I needed her car and when I came over to get it she wanted to know if I could pick her up something to eat while I was out.  Sure.  And I see that she only has a 1/4 tank of gas.  So to be nice and considerate I fill the tank for her as well.

Earlier she had run out of some perfume she likes and wanted to know if I could order some more for her.  Sure thing.

I did all of those things for her simply out of kindness.  Do unto others as you would have them do unto you (Luke 6:31) and all that happy horseshit.

Not according to Scarlett though as I found out today.

Another phone call.  Why are you being so good to me?  So I reference Luke above and also add in just simple human kindness.

Uh uh she says, there's something more to it. 
Uh, no there isn't.
Yes there is.  Do you want to get back together?
No.
Wow.  You didn't even take a breath!
Didn't need to.
Why are you being so nice to me?
I'm getting the feeling that maybe I shouldn't.  Maybe I should just be an asshole?
No.  I want you to be nice to me.  I don't want this divorce.
Well I can think of quite a few things just from the recent past that tell me something different.
So you don't want to get back together?
Asked and answered.
Ok.  I think I've humiliated myself enough for one day.
Bye Scarlett.
*click*

Ran all this by the Shah this evening along with a recurring dream I've had for about 3 years now.  Dream concerns a former place of employment and my departure from there.  Up to today I didn't think, had to no reason to think, that the dream and all this Scarlett stuff was connected.  The Shah almost has me convinced that they are.

I've had some regrets concerning my leaving this employer but on balance I believe it was the right decision.  Doing so did not make my life any easier, in fact for quite a few years afterward my life was fairly lousy.  But as things usually do, if you can maintain the proper attitude, it got a little better, a little more, a little more until one day I could look back and say yeah I did the right thing.  I miss this, this and this but I gained this, this, this and this plus I got to know this person, that person, I was able to do thus and such a lot of which I likely would not have enjoyed or experienced had I not left.

The regrets from all those years ago, according to the Shah, are what is driving me in the present day to make this current departure/rupture/end of a relationship, as smooth as I can possibly make it.  And when I reflect on what he said, I can't say that I disagree.

Just more proof that I should have followed my very sage advice to a couple of step children years ago.  If you have no expectations, you will have no regrets or disappointments.


Cue Frank Sinatra