Too many root canals

Had lunch yesterday with an old friend I hadn't seen in awhile.  He was somewhat aware of my situation but lacking most of the details, and I was vaguely aware of his but also lacking in details.  So we spent almost 3 hours over some good food getting one another up to speed.

I was glad to see this guy but also a little leery because he's known Scarlett for 10+ years more than I have.  Plus, he had been divorced from his wife, who was a friend of Scarlett's but had recently remarried her.  Neither of them have seen Scarlett or myself in 5 years or more for reasons unimportant here.

So, I didn't really know what to expect once the conversation veered into the catching up phase.  As it turned out, this was a conversation I probably should have had months and months ago.

Long story short, listening to my buddy tell me about Scarlett, what he had observed over the years, how he saw me react to her, the things he heard her say to me and others was like listening to myself.  I didn't need to provide explanations or background for him.  He knew.  In fact, as I discovered, he knew long before I did.  So why didn't he warn me years ago?  Well, I only met him through Scarlett after we were married.  At that point he thought it better to keep his thoughts to himself.

Now, his wife and Scarlett have a number of similarities, sadly for both of us, none of them good.  He can see and told me in great detail about Scarlett's selfishness, self absorption, hypocritical attitudes and behaviors etc.  And the woman he recently remarried has all these "qualities" as well, plus a substance abuse problem.   So where was this conversation headed?  I almost expected him to counsel me to follow his footsteps and reunite with Scarlett.  Instead, much to my relief he compared her to a bad tooth.  Told me that I'd gone through far too many root canals and it was time to just get rid of it.

No matter how convinced you are about the path you're on or about to take, there's nothing like another person, that you know and trust, who's also been there and knows the players involved, telling you that you made the right decision and giving you reasons for it that you weren't even aware of.